Top 10 Ways Of Identifying A ‘Runs Girl’ In Lagos

Lagos is a place where the struggle for
limited resources is keen. All facilities are
highly COMMERCIALIZED including love.
Things are not always what they seem to
be at the surface level, so there is a need
for you to ‘shine your eyes’ before being
caught buying the counterfeit.
These are top features of a Lagos prostitute
who maybe trying hard to hide her identity
to avoid stigma:
1. Runs girls in Lagos are fond of heavy make-
ups:
They are always desperate to create an
impression wherever they go. This leads to
obviously heavy and colourful make-ups
that mayn’t even rhyme at all. The
‘foundation’ could be so strong like she
wants to erect a building on her face.
2. Awkward piercings:
These set of ladies pierce their nose with
rings attached. Their ears carry multiple
piercings too. Some bold ones go as far as
rocking nose rings to show how
fashionable they are.
3. They chew gum indecently:
The act of chewing gum is very paramount
among full time prostitutes and ‘aristos’
seem to have mastered the act well and I
wonder the rationale behind it.
4. Breast display:
As goods are displayed on shelves in the
shopping mall, so also the runs girls flash
their ‘selling points’ I.e their area of
strength for prospective buyers. They make
sure you can a vivid look of what you are
up against like the massive boobs, big bum
and exposure of the flat tummy or waist.
5. Tattoos:
In Nigeria today, most decent and well-
cultured ladies don’t draw tattoos. Most
‘female marketers’ are fond of conspicuous
tattoos which are positioned at strategic
points for you to feed your eyes on and
they are always quite bold.
6. Bleached skin:
A fair lady gets more attention and is easily
noticeable than a dark one. Runs girls
don’t joke with bleaching. The skin is
unnecessary white while the fingers, toes
and knuckles stand out black with the
intention to break away like Biafra.
7. Runs girls in Lagos love expensive phones
with busy lines:
When a lady’s phone rings incessantly like
she is a customer-care agent and you know
she isn’t selling anything; my guy, she is
into ‘E-commerce’ like Jumia delivering the
assumed and the social media is likely her
booking office.
8. When you keep calling her phone and
introducing yourself severally:
Runs girls have several clients to deal with.
They hardly store numbers until they are
sure you have the will to do business. They
easily lose track of the identity of their
callers and you get poised to re-introduce
yourself over and over again.
9. If she disappears mysteriously like the 2016
national budget from the senate on Friday
nights:
Friday nights are sacred nights in Lagos
when the ‘god of koboko’ is worshiped by
hardworking men that must have been
engaged productively throughout the week.
On a night like this, a hot runs girl must
have been booked by the highest bidder;
hence a dramatic disappearance until
Saturday morning.
10. She is a likely ‘selling it’ if she spends the
entire day sleeping and heads out every night:
Runs girls in Lagos have opposite working
schedules, they leave for work when others
are returning, and go on recess when
others are at work like ‘Edo witches’ (na
joke oh).